How can I protect my children in my divorce?

Divorce is a difficult time for spouses. Property division, custody agreements, child support, and alimony negotiations are incredibly stressful for both parties. As stressful as all of that is, the children in a divorce can face a whole different caliber of stress if their parents are not looking out for them.

If parents are not careful, their children can suffer any number of negative consequences throughout their lives. By taking preventative measures like these, you can help minimize the adverse events your children experience in your divorce:

Do not make your children the middleman

If you have something to communicate with your ex-spouse, do not use your children to do it. Your kids may not understand all of the details you want to convey, and they may get confused if your ex-spouse begins asking them questions. Please make a point to have regular and direct communication with your ex-spouse, so your children can focus on spending time with their parents.

Do not insult the other parent in front of your kids

Children see themselves as one half of each parent. If they hear insults about one of their parents, they often extend that insult or negative attitude to themselves. This attitude can cause self-esteem issues and other emotional problems.

Promote co-parenting

Even if your divorce was an ugly one and you have significant issues with your ex-spouse, do not interfere with your children seeing them. When a parent keeps their children from seeing their other parent, they may notice their children begin to resent them for their actions. This resentment can develop into long-lasting issues between you and your children.

Do not use your children as leverage

If a parent begins exchanging visitation time for favors or services from the other parent, it can negatively impact the children. Children may start to feel guilty for the time they do spend with their other parent because they feel like it only happens because you earned something from it.

Your kids come first

Whether you are in divorce proceedings or if you have been divorced for some time now, your children still need to come first. If your spouse’s behavior is negatively impacting your children, consult with a family law attorney to help protect them.