Minimizing the impact of divorce on the kids

A divorce is not easy on anyone. If you and your spouse have children, your divorce case will likely be even harder to navigate. Doing what is best for the whole family may take a bit of effort.

Children are resilient, but numerous studies have shown the negative impacts divorce can have. One study, for example, found that children generally fare better when parents work out their differences. Minimizing the impact your divorce might have on the kids takes a proactive approach.

Communicate openly

Do not leave your kids in the dark about what is going on. They have probably already noticed something is wrong, so it is best to be honest and upfront with them from the start. Sit down, preferably together with your spouse, and have a family meeting about the situation. Make sure your children know the divorce is not their fault and that both parents still love them. Do your best to involve the kids in what is going on without putting them through the worst of your divorce case.

Avoid a messy court battle

Dragging the family through a custody battle involving courtrooms and judges is probably not what is best for your children. You and your spouse should try to work together on the terms of the divorce. Achieving an uncontested split can help you avoid a trial. Using a mediator to guide you through the process could keep your divorce more private and amicable.

Do not badmouth your spouse

No matter how bad things get between you and your spouse, remember that your kids see both of you the same as they always have. It is not fair to badmouth your spouse in front of them, as this can appear as though you are making them pick your side. Do not put your kids in the middle of the split. Reserve tense conversations about your spouse or the divorce for times when your kids are not present.